A year of emotions!

Mike and the kids watching for fish. LOVE THIS PICTURE. Cassidi is on the far right.

A year ago May 6th my brother, Mike Dahle, passed away. If you want to read about some of the "stuff" that was dealt all of us that last few weeks you can read this blog, I am not going into all of that now. It was a long journey and a very difficult one. The last year has brought so many emotions... learning, coping, grieving, crying, anger and about every emotion you could think of. So now a year has passed, I have been to his grave twice in the last year. Once on Memorial Day last year and I was super surprised how easy  unemotional it was. I put flowers on his grave, didn't shed a tear and walked away with a pretty calm feeling. Second visit to his grave was last August, it was not so easy, in fact it was terrible. I spent about 20 seconds there and cried so hard I couldn't breath. I couldn't shake it, it haunted me and it haunted Sam even more. He watched the melt down of the century.

So where am I going with this. Do I even know?? Ummmm!!!, not really.

My family is going to dinner on Sunday, the 1 year anniversary of his death. Not to be sad but to reminisce about life and just all be together. My Mom wanted us to all go to the grave together. At first I thought that was a WONDERFUL idea. We could all go there and be happy and talk about him and take pictures, etc. etc. etc... However, I know that is something I cannot do. I can't go with my kids, husband, Mom and try to keep composed of the Anniversary of something that has hurt so bad. I don't want to be strong for my Mom or not let it bother me because my kids will be there or see Sam's heart breaking because I am sad.

So, what is a girl to do???

Maybe not the best idea I have ever had I am taking tomorrow afternoon off. To drive to Idaho, ALONE, and to go to his grave and try to get some kind of handle on this emotion. Spend some alone time and just get a grip on everything.

I am usually an open book!!! I am not a private person, but during Mike's death and the weeks following I liked my privacy, I liked ALONE, I didn't answer phones, have friends come over, I dealt with it by withdrawing and doing exactly what had to be done to get through that time. So that is what I am doing tomorrow. I am going to go into my own little world, with Mike, take some flowers and memories and reflect on the last year, and cope.

Doesn't that sound like a hell of a good time!!! Wish me luck!

Once in awhile!!!

Those awesome teenage years are not my favorite time in a child's life to be their Mom.

Go ahead and judge me, I will wait...

Anyway, once in a while those awkward, back talking, know it all, friend loving, zit faced, opposite sex crazy, teenagers melt your heart.
Brock got his braces off last week. Sounds like the start of a simple story. We go to the orthodontist he gets his braces off. While at the orthodontist office the orthodontist ask me
"what kind of things are Brock into?".
I said to him "I don't know he is kinda the typical teenage boy!"
so we go about our appointment and its time for Brock to design his retainer.



*side note...retainers have came along way. Now-a-days you can get, pink, purple, blue, sparkled, checkered, orange, or all of the above. On top of that you can get any logo, picture, anything you can imagine put on your retainer.

back to heart melting story.. So Brock brings me over the "idea" poster of what you can get. There are Superman Logo's, Football Team Logo's, College Logo's, Cool designs, you name it they have it. The rest of the story is where my heart started to melt.

Brock hands the orthodontist back the poster of designs and says to the orthodontist.

"I want my retainer to be all white with the Breast Cancer pink ribbon."

The orthodontist looked at Brock, all the assistants looked at him and the room went quiet.

I said to Brock "You don't have to do that!"

he said "No, that's what I want!".

Brock goes back to get his final xrays done and I go to the waiting room and Brock's orthodontist comes into the waiting room and says to me.

"That was a first for us, brought a tear to every one's eye. We didn't even know what to say to him except, COOL!! My assitant looked at me and with tears in her eyes mouthed the words WOW to me!"

At that point the orthodontist said he assumed I had breast cancer and asked me some questions about it and he started walking away and said.

"That is an impressive young man, nothing like a typical teenager."

So a simple thing like a retainer reminded me how much these teenagers have their mamma's back, how much I still am on their mind, and that they actually do love me.

Our first cruise and first time in the Eastern Caribbean

We LOVE to take one vacation every year just for us. An all inclusive resort in Mexico South of Cancun is usually our favorite place to put our ass in the sand. This year our good friends were all booking a cruise to celebrate Linda Palmers 70th birthday so we joined them. Now Debbie and I have been all over the place but have never gone on a cruise... on purpose. We HATE to be hurded and ran by some one elses schedule, wait in line, rush rush rush... hurry and get back to the boat etc... you get the picture. We decided to give it a shot and you know... we really had a good time. Its still not our favorite thing to do but it was a great way to see several different places in one trip... it was kind of like camping... you have all of your things in the room and every day you get to go to a different place but always come back to the same room with all of your stuff there with out having to unpack and repack. We have so many fun pictures and memories. Here are just a few memories and notes to share with you. I have SO much fun with my wife in anything we do... love that woman :)

We spent 3 days in Miami right on the Miami beach! We had so much fun and I have never seen so many topless women in all my life. I had no idea it was legal in the US. Hate days like that hah

First stop was in Half Moon Cay. Absoolutely beautiful.

US Virgin islands..... one of our most favorite places on Earth! LOVE St John and will go back just to spend a week on that island...

The scenery on Grand Turk is just amazing isnt it?? :)

LP's birthday party at dinner

Isnt she just BEAUTIFUL?!

After the trip on our last leg home :) She is still beautiful

We are still here.

Ok, I miss blogging, I miss the memories we will have for a lifetime, but a girl gets busy, I will be better.

A lot has happened in 2 months.

-We went on vacation.

- new job offer.(we didn't take it)

-Kids visiting, coming, going, and staying.

-A lot of memories.

-Maverik March maddness and we Are still married.

Now I Will start blogging on some of this stuff... Tomorrow.

Tying a knot and hanging on!

Everyone that knows me well knows the last month has been tough. It is so refreshing to me to have my "go to" people that Love me, care about me, and are always there for me. I have a group of them that every time I am kind of at the end of my rope I pick up the phone and call. A, S.O.S,. call of "hey, I am not doing really good right now". So if your one of those people thank you from the bottom of my heart for last week. I am still standing!!!

Then on the flip side of the people that love you, you have the people that DON'T. The people that rub salt, judge fast, and are very busy telling you how wonderful they are and rotten you are that they may forget, that believe it or not, I also have true feelings. I always have been pretty resilient to this, not letting things get to me, not letting "those" people that truly believe I am the spawn of Satan take me down. Well I didn't do such a good job of that last week. It got to me, BAD.

.

I am not perfect, however, my intentions are good. I do not sit home and plot nasty revenge against people. I truly am just trying to help my family the best way I know how. If that is not good enough for you then I am sorry for my short comings.

remind all of you that "WORDS FRICKEN HURT" be careful how you use them

Sam and I am still standing, maybe leaning a little bit but at least we have each other to lean on, but never the less Still Standing! :-)

MAKE THIS... TONIGHT.

*disclaimer: This is not figure friendly!
I am not a huge mac and cheese lover. However my husband is (It's the Southerner in him). I ran acrossed this recipe by Paula Dean. I tweaked it here and there and let me tell you.. It is YUMMY.. It is rich, and it is fattening but it is awesome. I love crock pot meals, this one you have to stir quite often but it is Heaven sent. Go get this stuff and make it. I doubled the recipe. That will be about a big crock pot full.

GO BUY THE STUFF BELOW, DON'T BUY FAT FREE ANYTHING, DOUBLE THE RECIPE AND EAT IT... RIGHT NOW!!!


CROCK POT MACARONI AND CHEESE

• 2 cups uncooked elbow macaroni



• 4 TBL butter



• 2 1/2 cups grated sharp cheddar cheese



• 1/2 cup sour cream



• 1 (10 3/4 ounce) can condensed cheddar cheese soup



• 1/2 teaspoon salt



• 1 cup WHOLE milk



• 1/2 teaspoon dry mustard



• 1/2 teaspoon black pepper.

DIRECTIONS:

1. Put Crock pot on high and put butter in crock pot while Macaroni is boiling. Just to get it melted a little. (doesn't have to be entirely melted)

2. Boil the macaroni in water for six minutes. Drain

3. Combined all ingredients into crock pot and stir stir stir till mixed together (either melt the butter a little before you put it in the crock pot or cut it up into 1 inch pieces).

4. Cook on low for 2 1/2 hours. stirring occasionally.

Do not buy the pre grated Sharp cheddar. Grate your cheese yourself, it is just better cheese. AND remember this is all about the cheese... buy good cheese. But remember this is a rich rich recipe to begin with so don't go haywire buying richer cheese. Just good Sharp Cheddar Cheese works dandy..

Home Base!

You know when you have a really really bad day, week, month... etc.. and you just want that place to land. That place you know your loved, that you know they will take care of you??? I know that place and it's usually where my Mom is.

To say the LEAST this week has been rough and to make it rougher my Mom and Nolan have moved to Vegas for the Winter, and my Dad and Judy have gone to Lake Mead for the winter. So I don't even have a place to run. I have Sam and I have my kids and I have my home but sometimes you just need your Mom!!!

so I was given some motherly advice and boy does the shoe fit this week... My Mom is still my home base.

BE HOME BASE!
You are home to them. When they learn to walk, they wobble a few feet away from you and then come back, then wobble away a little farther and then come back. When they try something new, they will look for your proud smile. When they learn to read, they will repeat the same book to you twenty times in a row, because you're the only one who will listen that many times. When they play sports, they will search for our face in the stands. When they are sick, they will call you. When they REALLY mess up, they will call you. When they are grown and strong and tough and big and they feel like crying, they will come to you; When their hair is turning grey and they miss their Mom, they will think of you!

so here is to your home base!

The rest of the Holiday

One of our hardest thing to do over the Holidays is get all of our kids together in one spot. We were able to do it for about an hour 2 years ago but I would someday really like to get a family picture lol. So this year Josh, Sarah and Jordan couldnt make it to Christmas day but we were able to see them before the year ended. We saw Josh the day after Christmas at Peggies party and he is doing great.
We then went to Sheridan Wyoming to see Jordan and Sarah. They are doing great as well and have busy lives. We had dinner with them before we left. Sitting next to Sarah is her friend Cole. We miss all of our kids and love them all so damn much!!

The last picture is New Years Eve with a bunch of the buddies in Sheridan. Great time..

Another Christmas come and gone......

It always surprises me how fast the years go by. Kids are growing up and getting their own lives started and it getting harder and harder to get everyone together in one spot. We appreciate the time we do get and as you can see from the pictures, we have LOTS of fun hah. We were able to get Brock, Taylor and Cass in our house all at the same time. Josh had to work in Payson, Jordan and Sarah had to work in Sheridan. We were able to see Josh the day after Christmas and we will see Sarah and Jordan before the year ends. We love them all very much!!
Peggie and Nolan came up Christmas Eve night and we ate LOTS and played games. If you ever get the chance to play Guesstures do it... so much fun and we laughed and laughed at each other trying to act these things out.

Here are just some random pictures of the last couple of weeks over Christmas. Our blogging lately has been scarce.

You can take the girl out of the city, but...

It has been years since I have lived a small town life. As most of you know I was raised in a VERY small town in Southern Idaho, Population 6,000 or something like that. I knew everyone I graduated high school with, knew where they lived, what their parents did, and at one time or another probably dated someone in their family. I hauled hay, chased cows, and caught mice in mouse traps... SMALL town.
Now Sam and I live in big city... We don't really know our neighbors, I don't know where they work, what their kids names are, I don't know where they grew up or what they do on the weekends. I do not have mice, I do not SEE cows, and if one of my kids had to haul hay they would look at me like I was crazy, they may not even know what hay looks like. I DO have everything I want at the tip of my fingertips. Professional sports teams, huge shopping complex, airport, gourmet restaurants, art galleries, world class medical teams, unbelievable schools and Universities, and endless opportunities for the kids. We make big money, we spend big money, and I pay more for a pair of Levis and way more for a pair of shoes than I EVER thought I would. I am more and more city girl and less and less country girl.

So Sam and I have the conversation a lot if we would want to go back to small town living and we both agree that there is something about a small town that calls to us. I know I would not be content in TOO small of town and I have to be somewhere that I could buy a really expensive pair of shoes and have somewhere to wear them. I am more of a city girl now than I ever want to admit and Sam laughs occasionally about how I would stick out like a sore thumb in some of the places he has lived. However, he forgets that I have lived in a small town and there are a lot of things I miss.
You probably will never see Sam and I moving back to Preston, Idaho, Sheridan, Wyoming, Le Mars, Iowa or Winslow, AZ... but we may be planting our roots somewhere smaller than this concrete jungle of Salt Lake City, Utah.

So how big of city is to big??? or how small of a town is to small??? We are thinking somewhere with 100 to 200 thousand people.. That sounds just right to us! and you?

Where have we been???

As our busy lives seem to get even busier through the Holidays we keep saying we need to blog more. We were reading through a lot of our old posts the other night and such great memories are kept here.
We had a great Thanksgiving, we have been to a couple of Hockey games, shopping for the Holidays...... but the reality is we work so much right now that we try to squeeze things in and by the time we hit the bed at night we are exhausted. We are still having lots of fun however!!!
Here are a few pics of some memories over the last month or so.

ITS HOCKEY TIME!!!!!! Even Grizzbee knows who the hottest woman in the crowd is.

We reserved the Maverik Suite for our lil party one night.

WE are now playing " GUESS WHO THE HEADS ARE" lol

Debbie, Judy, Allison, Sally and Michelle - YOUR RIGHT!!!!

Allison and her friend Brandon

Brock and his friend Rylee

Thanksgiving was awesome!! We didnt get tons of pics but we had about 15 people with lots of food and great company. They even had an activity... building Ginger Bread Houses. My wife built the best one.. but they were all great.

Little Morgan was playing with our snowmen. She was pressing the play button on all of these at the same time haha.. cute!!

Cassidi, Josh and Taylor. 3 of our brady bunch was there.

Kyley, Morgan and Taylor

Bad Bad Mole!!

This past Spring Brock went to the doctors to get his Physical done so he could go to Scout Camp in the summer. While he was there the doc looked at his back and took a pen and circled a mole that he said needed to be removed and to bring him back at the end of the summer. Debbie looked at it and thought "why is this mole a bad one???" Little tiny mole about the size of an ink pen dot. So on we went with the summer.....
About a month ago Debbie took him in and the doctor did a punch hole operation and took the core out of the mole (1st pic). Super thick skin on the back... couldnt believe it.
So they sent it off for tests and to make a long story short, it came back as questionable so he had to go back in and get the whole area taken out and that came back as melonoma!!!! Debbie about fell out of her chair, started cold sweats and almost a panic attack. The doctor calmed her down and said he will be fine and it was caught so early that he will live a long healthy life. He just needs to be careful in the sun and watch all of his moles in every phsyical.

So to all of you.... be very careful of your moles

Yearly Family Pumpkin Carving Contest!!

Another Fall has come and we have faced each other once again in our contest... trash talking.. name calling... you know how that family competition thing goes lol This year Brock said he was an amature and there was no way he could win. We posted the picture on Facebook as usual for voting and he not only won but kicked BOOTY! He won by 15 votes. NICE JOB BROCK!!

Top left was Cass, top right Debbie, bottom left Sam, bottom right Brock. Yeah he smoked us but I think Cass and Debbie had the most detailed pumpkings by far.. my vote was for Cass.