- That is has nothing to do with the "accident" and has everything to do with I am just getting older!
- That I was single for years and left my kids a lot while I was single, I had to work a lot, I also played A LOT. I was dating (usual some nightmare of a man) and I know I spent a lot of time away from my kids and I think I have Mother guilt. (NOW I DRIVE THEM NUTS, AROUND ALL THE TIME, trying to make up for anything I did wrong because I was a single mom) and trying to make everything "perfect" for them in case something happens to me!
- That I was not doing anything dangerous in the accident. I tell Sam all the time it would be easier for me emotionally if we would have been sky diving or doing something "dangerous". So now I have a small fear of leaving my house.
- I don't drive from the accident yet. It is scary. I have a black spot in my eye, I get dizzy when I look over my shoulder, so that kinda puts a damper on going places.. DUH!
The other thing that has changed is probably a good thing. Everyone that knows Sam and I, knows we are not shy about saying we are going to have a beer, or open a bottle of wine, and we have been known to party. That has changed for me in LEAPS AND BOUNDS. I don't drink very often any more. I might have a beer every couple of weeks but I don't drink nearly like I use to. I think the reasoning for that is because I am still a little dizzy, and I feel very very full all the time, so I don't want to drink because I am to full and I don't want to feel "tipsy" AT ALL. I think I am boring Sam to death.. TO DEATH!! :-) The honest truth about the alcohol is that I DON'T MISS IT, I feel great, have lost 12 pounds and I don't miss the alcohol AT ALL.
So to all my friends, my husband, and family. I know I am at home A LOT, and I know that baby steps are what I am taking to move on and get over this. Until then I am at home and get your asses over here and visit me!!!
or I may be at Bear River Mental Health because they just might come take me away because I am crazy!! Who knows!
:-)..
4 comments:
I hate to be at my house. I go all day every single day. I WANT to get away from my kids!
we love you at home...
I'm sorry, but I have to laugh at your post!! I still do not see you sitting at home!! Glad you are enjoying it!
I totally understand the secure feeling of being home! When you have had an injury like that and lasting effects like the dizzy spells and black outs, it is scary to think about driving or even leaving home by yourself! After my stroke they put me on Zoloft to help me get past all that, took a while, and I still have days that I want to stay in. it just takes time and a new trust of yourself.
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