*disclaimer..... this is NOT a Mormon bashing post!!! I repeat this is not a Mormon bashing post!!! Many many of my family and friends are Mormon and I would NEVER bash the church. This is just a struggle with Sam and I... I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A MORMON BASHING POST!
I normally do not blog about personal things or deep things.. I am going to today...
Sam had never lived in Utah and had NEVER been around a influence of one religious group in his life UNTIL he hit Utah. Sam was use to many many churches and everyone being together as one no matter what church you went to. Utah is a little different and Kaysville is even more so. 98% of our neighbors our Mormon and I mean VERY VERY Mormon. I am happy for them, I am glad it works for them, BUT we know it does not work for US. The problem with that is where do you find a life in a neighborhood that is all one religious group when you don't go to that church.... hmmmmmmm....
I am use to the Mormon culture. In fact there are aspects of it I thrive on and look up to, and obviously (because I have chosen differently) there are some things that do not click in my heart. I said to a church leader one day.. "I kind of feel like I woke up in a town that everyone was driving backwards, EVERYONE, and no one asked.. HEY WHY ARE WE DRIVING BACKWARDS? They just did it because their neighbors, their parents, and their grand parents did it. I told him "I don't want to drive backwards because everyone else is, if I choose to drive backwards I want to know why I am".... That is how I feel about the Mormon church. I did NOT want to be Mormon because my neighbors are, or my parents are or... or... or...
It has been a hard decision on me and I have felt like an outsider A LOT!!! A LOT... Sam just does not get it.. He does not get the living your religion for "other people" he struggles with the entire concept of things. I have said to him many many times... DON'T HAVE A BEER IN FRONT OF THEM OR DON'T DO THIS.. He looks at me like I have 8 heads... He doesn't understand it at all. Sam and I definitely are "WHO WE ARE". We don't "pretend" we don't drink alcohol, we don't "pretend" we don't go to a bar, and we don't put up a facade to make us look better in a neighbors eye. It has been hard... HARD!! A lot of times as I have been in Kaysville it seriously has went through my head. I SHOULD GO TO THE LDS CHURCH so I can get a life... I AM SERIOUSLY JUST CONFUSED AS HECK ABOUT THIS... I am not saying that this is exclusive to the "mormon" religion. I am sure if we moved in to a neighborhood that was 98% Jewish we would have the same problem.
Sam is the most spiritual person I have ever been with. He talks about the hereafter, and god and what he believes.
So I don't work outside of the home so I don't have "work" friends, my kids are older and getting all grown up so I don't do the "room mom" thing any more. We don't hang out in bars or clubs (well very often) because we don't have a group of friends... So we have struggled with the "friend" thing here in good ole Kaysville!!! anyone else????????
6 comments:
Well said Debbie. I struggle with the "religion" thing as I always have. I just don't get it but there is always hope. haha
I love you honey.
Hey Debbie, this is Becca from the Kutting Edge.Your blog is super cute!You and Sam are adorable! I just wanted you to know Justin and I totally struggle with the same things. Sometimes I think maybe I should go to church just so I feel normal?? I loved your driving backwards anology!(sp) Hang in there! There is more of us out there! :)
I appreciate this post. it enspires me that people like me are in Utah. I don't know you and just came acrossed your blog by accident but glad people like you are in Utah. I hit Utah and was blown away.
Hi sweets... I feel exactly the same way. I love the principal of the LDS church about family... I live and breath for my family. I respect all churchs, everyone should believe in "a" God... our neighborhood is very church oriented as well, and I do still struggle with taking my beer outside with me and pulling weeds...I don't want to disrespect anyone, but at the same time its my home, I'm a good person, and I LOVE beer...its definitley a hard situation. I feel your struggle. This is what I have settled on...stay the person I am, help my fellow neighbors, love my family and teach them to do service and/or caring of the people around us AND always make sure I have a beer in the fridge when I'm done!!!!
Kar
Hey Friends its me. I know what you feel like. Everyone tells me I'm a member of the Church because i was born into it. But i want to let you know that i chose this for myself. I chose to drive backwards, not because i wanted to fit in, heck if i wanted to fit i would choose a religion that EVERYONE liked. Leave utah and everyone thinks the Latter Day saint have horns! But...I DO know why i'm driving backwards. I know who i am, why i'm here, where i'm going, and what is expected of me. and that has made my journey through life more undestandable and ultimately easier. But its not because i lived in that community. My family is military so we've been around the block with Mormons, catholics, baptists, jews, athiests...and i loved them all. Dont feel like you have to "struggle" No good Lds Member expects you to be like them. Good members seek only for the betterment of their neighbors. I love you guys! You rock my socks. -Alex Heder
Hi Debbie. There are actually many people like us here in Utah and it helps to read from others. My family and I moved here 3 years ago and experienced severe culture shock. I have started blogging so I could find humor in my day to day life here in Utah. Keep sharing stories!
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